Happy New Year. I am about twelve days late on that but it’s still January so I’m pretty much in the clear in my mind. The holidays are over which was kind of a bummer because it’s time to remove all the Christmas décor and the house just looks so January. I had a different outlook for the new year this year. I don’t know if it was because of the new decade or what but I was excited and positive and ready to meet 2010 head on!
I know, and I wasn’t even drinking.
Of course this year I decided I needed to make a change. My first change was that I’d decided to go natural with my hair. I was tired of getting relaxers and putting chemicals on my scalp. As most black women know, this is a very scary step. There are so many blogs, websites and message boards were women post about the steps to going natural, their experiences, what product to use and I thought there really wasn’t a place (not one that I found) where you could do that for eating better. Sure there are tons of places where you can find what to eat, what exercises to do, what supplements you need to take but not anything with an honest to go person implementing these things into their lives and how they felt about it. I don’t normally make resolutions because I’m just like everyone else and have already broke them before I even have a chance to try to keep them but this time it felt different. I was actually looking forward to changing things.
I love food. I love food so much I went to culinary school. What I didn’t love were the hot kitchens and twelve hours on my feet but that’s another story. Food has always made me happy. I could wax poetically about all the things I love to eat and their flavors and how wonderful that first taste is when it hits your tongue. I can also go on about which fast food place has the best burgers, the best fries, and the best dollar menu. I also realize that because I have eaten this way for years and years, I don’t have much energy (I sleep nine hours a night, get up and want to nap four hours later), I have Type II Diabetes and the internal feelings I feel (aches, pains, weird heart palpitations) are things I don’t like. I would also like to have brighter skin, shinier hair and be able to walk with hearing the crunch and click of my right knee (it’s so gross).
What I’m doing here is not dieting. I’m changing some fundamental things in my eating habits that will help me be healthier and just feel better. I am a fat person and it took me thirty-three years to be okay with that. I look in the mirror (most days, I‘m still learning and accepting) and I see a beautiful, intelligent, funny, loving person staring back at me. I expect some weight loss to come along with this change but that’s not what I’m focusing on. I’ve never wanted to be a skinny person. I’m a firm believer in never trusting a skinny cook (okay not really, I learned to love Giada) but all of this is about getting healthy. I’m hoping to find other people trying to do the same thing and learning from them. I hope that I find others who haven’t thought about it but are inspired to do so. I’m a normal person that will be struggling through this along with everyone else but I know I will come out the other side victorious (and with the clicking my knee to quiet down).