Weddings and realizations

I am a romantic at heart.  I've always believed in fairytales and true love and most thing that make the majority of people puke.  I believe in love a first sight, soulmates, and Prince Charming. I believe that love can happen like it does in the movies.  Of course even though I wished for it, I never used to think it would happen to me.  I wasn't deserving of it because I wasn't skinny and perfect.  Now that I think about it, that is the most ridiculous thought that anyone could possibly have.

This past weekend I was privileged to witness the marriage of two of my very close friends.  I've been to several weddings and though they are lovely events I have normally left them feeling less than stellar.  It'd always been one of those things when I'd sit there wondering when it would be my turn and why wasn't this happen to me.  When I think back on it now it was just one of those moments when I should've been just like Seriously, get over yourself.  This time it was different.  All I could do was smile the entire time.  I watched two people that were meant for each other pledge their lives to each other and it was so beautiful.  These were two people who were clearly meant to be together and love each other more than anything and there is no doubt in my mind that they will go the distance.  It bought tears to my eyes to watch them kiss, to see them announced as Mr. and Mrs. and to see them have the day that the both deserved.  I was really so happy to be apart of it.

I no longer sit around and pout about when will it be my turn.  I recognize the fact that I need to figure out who I am as a person before I can share my life with someone.  I know that everything I dream about will come true.  The person I will share my life with, my best friend who I will share secrets with, have adventures with and grow old with will find me and I will find him.  I used to live in fear that as the year go by I was going to turn into an old maid (because I'm ANCIENT) and I would die alone but I've gotten rid of that fear.  It was long overdue because really, it was weighing me down. 

It's always an amazing feeling when I've jumped over another hurdle that has held me back.  This weekend I also learned that I really have an amazing talent.  My friends trusted me with their wedding cake and I delivered.  I worried all last week and everything went fine.  The cake was beautiful and delicious and I really know what I'm doing.  I've always wanted to do wedding cakes since before I went to school and now if it's meant to be I want to follow that path.  We shall see where it takes me.

Resetting the Resolution Button

 weheartit.com

It is March and I can say that I have definitely fallen off my resolution wagon.  I made the decision that 2010 was going to be the year of improvement and not letting stupid things hold me back and while I only made two resolutions and I have mostly pushed them by the way side.  I haven't forgotten completely but I'm not conscience of them as much as I was in January.  There were pretty simple resolutions:  Eat healthier and Move more.  I've done yoga a few times but not as much as I should and while I'm am making better choices when it comes to eating, they still aren't as good as I would like them to be.  One thing I have stuck to is if I ate something what wasn't exacly healthy I was no longer going to beat myself up about it.  I can proudly say I've stuck to that.

I gave up fast food for Lent.  When I tell people this the first thing they say is "You aren't Catholic?"  No I'm not but I didn't think that was a prerequisite.  I mean really, the only reason why I decided to do something for Lent is because I knew it was 40 something days long and it ended on Easter.  There's a clear time period that I wouldn't wonder how much longer I had and when could I eat Carl's Jr. again?  I've never challenged myself before so I decided why not so I gave up fast food.  I basically can't eat anything from a place that has a drive thru.  Probably doesn't sound like much to people but I have to say it is very challenging.  There are days when I don't feel like cooking and I just wish we could run down the street and get something or I go over to my friend's place and someone shows up with a lovely bag of deliciousness and the cravings start.  It's not that I ate burgers and fries all the time but it was convienient and I do have a soft spot for In & Out Burger.  Yes, I am a culinary school grad and a self proclaimed foodie but who doesn't love a burger every now and then?

I have survived 21 days so far.  I'm hoping by the end of this I can survive longer. Forty days without consuming this stuff I would think I could just be done.  I've decided that I'm hitting the reset button on my resolutions and focusing on what I want to achieve.

Other goals that I have for this year is actually keeping up with this blog.  I have plans and I want to turn this into something that helps others.  I feel like I'm going through this transition in my life and maybe someone else is doing the same thing and looking for someone to connect with.  My vision is for others to find me and identify with what I'm trying to do.  As I mentioned in my last post, February was Radical Self Love month and with reading comments on Galadarling.com and the #radicalselflove tag on Twitter and I learned so much about people and I'm not alone in my thinking.  It's rather nice and reassuring.