Friday, February 12, 2010

Happy Valentine's Day

I really didn’t think it would take me so many years to finally feel comfortable in my own skin.  At the age of 33 (soon to be 34) I am starting to do just that.  I don’t know if it’s ridiculous or awe inspiring.  In my brain it seems that this process should have taken place sometime when I was in my late teens, early 20s but it didn’t.  The spark didn’t even come until I was almost thirty.  That actually what it was, a spark that smoldered for the last few years until just this last year where it grew into a huge flame.  I look at myself now and think finally, there is the beautiful person I’d been wishing for.  I now believe I can have anything and that just because I don’t fit into a certain category of conventional size and beauty doesn’t make me any less worthy.  Right now I am unemployed.  I am without a job and living in an area where the unemployment is so high it’s ridiculous.  There is nothing for a pastry chef like myself here but because I am unable to move I have decided to make my own employment.  I have always wished for a job that I loved to do but didn’t believe I deserved that because my employment history is shotty at best.  I mean, only people who have worked for a long time and paid their dues were allowed the blessings of doing what they loved.  Who said that was a rule?  I plan on working on what makes me happy and as I work I know the opportunities will arise in which I can put forth what I love to do.  I believe it in and it’s that simple.  It is my responsibility to love myself and do what makes me happy in order to live a fulfilled life.

I think a lot of people forget that.  Everyone gets caught up in the day to day hustle of life and we forget that we need to stop and see where we are.  We need to love ourselves and figure out what makes us happy.  Once you figure out what makes you happy and that you are worthy enough to follow your passions then everything starts to change.  A few months ago I stumbled upon the wonderful Miss Gala Darling and her website and not only is she the cutest thing in the world I found her completely inspiring.  Gala has declared February Radical Self Love month and though I am a few weeks late (as I always seem to be) I have been following along with her posts and everyone else’s posts about it as well.  There will be a lot of tips about take care of yourself, respecting yourself and figuring out what makes you beautiful and worthy of everything in this world.  I took Gala’s suggestion to set up a column in my TweetDeck for a search for #radicalselflove and the results have been so inspiring.  Most people I know would find this all to be a lot of crap but that’s because they aren’t in the right place to accept the message.  We all need to take the time to give love to ourselves, take care of our spirit and do what we need to do to be happy in this world.  If we don’t love ourselves how do we expect anyone else to?

I hope everyone had a faboo Valentine's Day.  I know most feel like it's a day made up by Hallmark and all that but I think it's a nice day to share with people you love whether it's friends, a significant other or your family.  I plan to enjoy my night with friends.  I think I'm going to make them brownies.  Maybe I'll post the recipe!

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